The pace of summer...

Summer is such an awesome season...

We have been blessed in recent days with warm-evening fellowship with friends, hard work in the hot sun and the refreshment of cold peach iced tea. We have also been experiencing the joy of being with family...

This time of living with Josh's parents is proving to be a precious one. Our children are logging invaluble hours with grandpa & grandma...reading stories, wrestling, hammering nails and making muffins. It has been a time of creating countless memories for our children (and grandma & grandpa) to enjoy for many years.

We know this is only for a short time and so we are enjoying the long days of summer...for we know they are going to be over too soon.

Yesterday, Levi was making up a song as we rode in the car...it went something like this:

"I love my mommy,
I love my daddy,
I love my Ella Mae,
I love my grandma,
I love my grandpa,
I love my hammer..."

He loves living with grandpa (and grandma) and his favorite thing to do is "do some work" with grandpa. Wherever grandpa is working...on the tractor, hammering nails, hanging doors...Levi is there. A little shadow, watching his every move.

It's priceless.

Thank you Dad & Mom McPherson, for having us here in your home...for loving and mentoring your grandchildren, for sharing your "space", for teaching us through your examples...
we love you and are treasuring this time together.

Ahhhhhh...sweet summer.

Thinking about December...

(Ella with one of her favorite babies...A.W. This was last summer. Aiden was just 3 months old.)

December 15 was to be the date.

I found out while Josh was in his final push of this semester of school. He was in Oregon for 10 days straight...pumping out the papers, cramming in the Greek and generally trying to survive finals at the graduate level.

I was pregnant.

We were overjoyed and excited to increase our little family by another "two feet". :o)

I was feeling pretty well...except for all-day nausea and some good ole' fatigue. But having two little ones to care for proved to be a good distraction.

So our 10 week appointment arrived, followed by the ultrasound.

Many old feelings flooded back during the ultrasound, as the tech grew quiet during the procedure. We had found out about Ella's diagnosis in the same way. The tech does not have the authority to make a diagnosis...and her silent demeanor was an indicator that something was wrong.

I actually felt sorry for her...she wouldn't look me in the eye and she really wanted to get out of the room in a hurry. I don't blame her.

She didn't want to be the one to tell me that the pregnancy was over.

A miscarriage.

It became reality over the next couple days as lab tests and my own body comfirmed the loss.

A week of physical exhaustion...due to blood loss and pain, found me back at the doctor's office. He was concerned for my health and future pregnancies.

So after being in the doctor's office at 2:30, I was in surgery by 4. I had to have a D & C.

Graciously, my recovery was uncomplicated. With much care and help from family and friends (everything from food to childcare and everything in between...how can we ever say thank you), I was back to full-time wife & mama in a week.

During my recovery time (of quiet rest at Nana & Papa's house...thank you both), I was journaling...praying...reflecting on the whole experience. And some things have stayed with me (as only they can during such times of trial)...

-that the Lord in his grace and mercy would choose to take my little one now...as He saw fit. I can only imagine the ache of mothers who have lost their little ones at 6 months, full-term or in the middle of childhood.

-that I am already immeasurably blessed by the 2 little ones the Lord has entrusted to our care thus far...

-that if I was already this attached and devastated by the loss of this little one (only 11 weeks along), what agony and pain must women feel who choose to end their little one's life through abortion...

-that the Lord is still sovereign and good...at the same time.

-that I have a renewed passion to press into God and pour into my husband & children...while I have the energy, strength and health...

There have been hard days, encouraging days, faith-filled days and days of mourning. But it is with a joy-filled heart that I write today.

Our omnipotent Lord knows so much better than I...and I am trusting Him day by day to sustain, lead and use the events of our life to bring Him glory.

So today, on this 85 degree day in June...I am thinking about December...

...and about a little one I will get to meet in heaven someday.

We love you little one.

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Big Sister Ella Mae and Big brother Levi

Beautiful girl...

Just wanted to post the most recent pics of our little girl, who is fast approaching birthday number four.
These fabulous pictures were taken, once again, by our friend and truly gifted photographer Jocelyn Edlin. Who uses her camera to bless many.

We had the joy of hosting her and her sister in our home last weekend. Jocelyn blessed our church family with her creative gifts and we can't wait til she comes again.

Thank you Jocelyn...we loved hosting you and spending some time with you and your sister! We hope you will return soon.

And thank you again for these wonderful pictures...we cannot pick a favorite.


(all photos were taken by Jocelyn Edlin...jocelynelise.com. And used with permission...please check her website out and use her to bless your family with pictures that will be cherished for years to come!)